


To Be A Side

by AnonymousSalsa



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Family Bonding, Growing Up, Guilt, Sweet Patton/Innocent Patton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-04-28 11:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14448558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousSalsa/pseuds/AnonymousSalsa
Summary: Thomas has his sides: Morality, Logic, Creativity, and Anxiety. He didn't always, of course...They had to come from somewhere...and had to learn about the world somehow.





	1. Just The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> It was only natural that Morality would come at a crossroads (of a sort).  
> Or maybe just a spike of emotions and a hug…

!!!CRASH!!!

Thomas was 3 years old when his first side formed, not that Thomas was aware of it. He was more distracted by the broken vase in front of his shambling form and the sound of the front door being opened signifying the return of his mother than the baby blue glow of the world around him. Being frightened that his mother could rush into the room along with her disapproval and anger, Thomas tried to hide the shards where no one would find them so as to stay out of trouble. 

Grabbing a handful of small pieces carefully and quietly to avoid attention, Thomas ran to the nearby couch, lifted a cushion from the top, and threw the handful underneath. Putting the cushion back and excited by the success of his plan, Thomas ran to get more, only to flinch back as the light blue glow at the edges of his vision brightened considerably upon grabbing the next handhold, flashing and sending him reeling back into the wall.

The sharp glass obviously cutting into his small hand, Thomas let out a cry and fell sitting into the dust of his mother’s favorite vase, broken beyond repair. His family rushed into the room, running to comfort the boy and see the consequences of Thomas’ latest ordeal. Providing soothing words and promises to take care of him, Thomas calmed down enough to sob an apology to his mother:

“Mo- Mom- Momma!” Thomas exclaimed between his tears. “It’s not my fau-“

The blue glow he saw brightened, and the denial and excuse that were about to come forth were choked to a stop as words that weren’t his own burst forth in a rush to keep away the lies: “I broke your lamp, momma, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to and now it’s broke-“.

Thomas was pulled into his mother’s lap and rocked reassuringly to calm the small child, who was shaking from the fear of angering his family. His father and older brothers grabbed brooms and trash bags, proceeding to clean up the rest of the ceramic shards.

“And…And…In the couch…” mumbled Thomas as he stopped sobbing long enough to sniffle through his tears. “Some of it is in the- … the- … couch.”

All of his family stopped and looked at him. Thomas hid his face into his mother’s chest, but not before watching his father step over all of the piles of shards and walk to the couch. His father lifted up the first cushion and saw the array of shards sitting on the springs, dangerously sharp and ready to cut someone as soon as they sat down.

Thomas saw his father’s disapproval and exasperation of the vase and immediately began blubbering to himself once again. His mother quickly began rocking and pulled him to her chest in order to calm the boy. She stood and carried him into his bedroom to take him away from the vase. Thomas looked up at his mother, smiling at him, and nuzzled close once more.

After a few minutes, the snuffles of the little boy subsided, and his mother pulled away enough to look into his eyes. While his face was red with crying, it was the smeared blood from where Thomas had rubbed his eyes that sent her into a frenzy. She rushed Thomas into the bathroom and checked to see how badly Thomas was hurt.

Thomas, who had forgotten about being hurt in the rush of events, gasped and whimpered at the sight of his own blood. His mother ran his hand underneath the bathroom faucet, inspecting the wound before disinfecting and bandaging the finger.

Back in Thomas’ bedroom, his mother sat him in front of her before gently broaching the subject. “Thomas, would you like to tell me what happened?”

Thomas sat silently and stared at the bandage on his hand. His bottom lip began to quiver as he jumped and hid underneath the bed sheets. His mother sighed, walking over to the head of the bed and sitting next to the shaking lump, rubbing her hand gently down Thomas’ back. “Thomas…”

Thomas was worried as many thoughts rushed through his head. Would she be angry? Was she waiting to punish him? What should he say? They hadn’t found the evidence…maybe he could say he bumped it and knocked it over? It was just a little lie-

At this, the now regular blue glow sharpened back into focus. Thomas just sighed as he realized that the truth would simply be the best option. After all, his mother would be angrier if she found out he lied anyway. Slowly, Thomas sat up and revealed the thing he had most dreaded since the vase had broken: “I knocked over the vase…I’m sorry Momma, I thr-“… Thomas paused once again, hesitation clear in his voice as he continued, “I threw a ball and it hit the vase and broke it.” 

At this, Thomas’ head fell as he waited for the inevitable punishment. He had broken a rule and had thrown something in the living room, around the breakable picture frames and decorations that his mother was so fond of. Thomas began shaking again, anxious all over again as his emotions got the best of him.

However, his mother just pulled him into a hug, holding and consoling him that she was not as angry as he feared her to be. “Oh, Thomas… it is okay…” Thomas sniffled yet again, then looked up at his father, holding up the incriminating bouncing ball to show his mother. 

“Thomas, would you like to explain what this is?” Thomas’ father asked. Thomas opened his mouth to explain, but his mother beat him to the response: “He has already told me what happened, and he promises not to play in the living room again, right?”

Thomas stopped, and then nodded in response. He wasn’t sure if he was still going to get in trouble, but at least his mother didn’t sound too upset with him. And when his father came and joined the hug, he knew that he would be okay if he stayed like that, safe in his family’s arms.

His family wasn’t mad at him and everything had turned out fine. No one had been hurt badly, and his parents loved him. No one was truly upset about the broken vase, and he would make sure not to play in the room in case if he broke something else.

Of course, Thomas still had to figure out what the sudden flashes of blue light were, and why they stopped him from telling even the smallest white lie. 

But then, he had an entire week of no television to think about it.


	2. Black and White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patton just can't see the bad in people. And is really confused.
> 
> Also...
> 
> POTATO!!!!!

Everything was a blinding white.

There was no sense of matter, time, or direction – just a blinding void of emptiness with no purpose.

In the sky, there seemed a large window, from which one could take a break from the blinding white by watching through the eyes of the host. At such a young age, Thomas’ mind was largely empty, not even a fraction of its future potential.

The mind was sharply divided down the middle into two sections. Stray thoughts flitted around throughout the mindscape, sticking to the edges next to the small piles of memories strewn around the mindscape in no real order. Most of the thoughts on the left side of the barrier were sharper, muted colors that seemed to be made of facts and numbers. On the right, you could see brighter flashes of emotions and colors, along with the most piles of memories.

This divide ran all the way until it met the edge of the vast white, turning into a wall of swirling dark shadows. As the opposite of the rest of the mindscape, these seemed to be a cloud of oppressive darkness that absorbed all light. This cloud swirled and ebbed, but seemed to be caught behind a thin wall of gray light that separated the two parts of the mind.

Since Thomas had been born, the mindscape had remained largely empty. The sections had remained equally divided, the thoughts had remained fairly simple, and most memories had decayed before stayed anytime longer than short-term memory. There was nothing that would signify any change, until one day…

 

!!!CRASH!!!

 

A booming resounding noise echoed throughout the mindscape, only getting louder by the second. The shock waves continued to bounce off of the surfaces as the mind struggled to comprehend the scene before it. The sky showed the image of a shattered vase, and as the raucous din grew in strength, a tiny crack appeared in the gray wall. Keeping the parts of the mind apart, this wall had always been intact, leaking an oily black substance from the top of the wall. As the thunder finally died down, the mindscape seemed to freeze in apprehension…

And then the crack began to spread.

* * *

 

_Patton was dreaming._

_He was sitting in his bedroom. A cream and gray bed sat against the wall, with a nightstand next to it. The walls were lined with shelves, with a television in the corner and empty picture frames covering any leftover empty space around the room, even a few mounted to the ceiling. A mound of plushies and small toys filled a trunk next to the bed, where Patton was seated. Patton had a toy cat in one hand and a Mr. Potato Head toy in the other, weaving stories and laughing along with the characters he had created. He took his new friends along the path to the little cottage he had drawn earlier._

_All of a sudden, the lights and objects in his room began to rattle and shake. He could hear a loud roar from outside, almost deafening to his small ears, so he dove underneath his blankets and held his pillows to his ears, trying to block out the sound. After what seemed to be an eternity, his bedroom lights flickered and the noise abruptly came to a stop._

_Patton peeked out from under the blankets and looked around. It appeared that nothing had fallen out of place, but his own shifting had knocked his Mr. Potato Head off of the_ bed _and had knocked one of its arms somewhere else. Getting on his hands and knees to look underneath the bed, Patton heard a groan and the sound of cracking_ glass _. Then his lights briefly flashed before his entire room went black._

* * *

 

A ripple of color ran through the darkness as some trickled down the wall, becoming infused with a dimly glowing yellow that occasionally flashed through the darkness. The little stream tickled slowly to the ground, seeming to encounter more resistance the farther it fell. However, the moment the first bit of darkness connected with the rest of the mindscape, a single though escaped from it: LIE!

The darkness continued to puddle on the ground, staining and tainting the brilliant white that had been there just a moment before. As more surface was covered, the puddle began to show an image of hiding pieces of pottery inside a couch: the same pottery that could be seen in the ceiling. From the puddle, there began to rise the beginnings of muted words telling Thomas what to do: an idea.

* * *

 

_Patton stopped as he looked around, trying to see anything of his surroundings. While there was light throughout the rest of his house, his room could only be seen because of his faint blue glow. From what he could see, some sort of oily tar that only spread as he glanced around had blocked his window. He turned around only to gasp in shock: another person had entered his room. The person, alerted by Patton’s shock, turned his head and smiled sinisterly in the dark. Patton gasped in fear, as the other half of the boy’s snake face was revealed, yellow eye glowing brightly in the sudden suffocating darkness._

_Patton, never one to be unfriendly to strangers, reached out his hand to shake the other’s hand. However, he was immediately rejected by having the other step away._

_Instead, he was greeted by a cold glare, hatred dripping from the intruder. Instead of introducing himself, he just smiled sinisterly and sank suddenly down into the shadows, disappearing with an evil laugh echoing behind him._

* * *

 

In retaliation from the intrusion, a flash of a light blue light ran from the corners through the rest of the mindscape, gathering the bright emotions with it as it came to rest as one large orb hovering next to the growing puddle of darkness. The closer it came to the ever-spreading darkness, the sparks of emotions and colors began to dim. The orb then seemed to fight back and gave a bright flash, eating away at the darkness, stopping the spread of dark ideas from spreading throughout the mindscape.

* * *

 

_Patton could feel where the other boy had gone, and sunk after him in an effort to apologize for somehow angering his new friend, and to share his toys with him. When he rose up, he was in an even darker room than before, and it took him a moment to realize why: his glow was completely suffocated in the thick darkness._

_Tripping and falling, Patton fell to his hands and knees on the rough ground, scratching his skin on the rough surface. Letting out a cry, he stumbled back to his feet and felt around more carefully to avoid being hurt. Feeling something soft, he turned around only to gasp as a single yellow eye glared in the darkness, advancing swiftly before shoving Patton backwards into the wall behind him._

_“HEY!”_

_And his glow once again flashed back around him._

* * *

 

The light once again gave a bright flash. It began to spin quickly as it hovered in the air, before glowing brightly and flying higher through the mindscape. The orb worked its way up the gray wall until it reached the source of the leakage before slowly coming closer. As they touched, a blinding flash began to shake the mindscape. Once it had subsided, the blue light had sealed the crack in the wall, completely dissolving any darkness on the light side of it.

The orb, as bright as ever, began to slowly change shapes as it neared the ground. The emotion’s other colors began to shine through, giving the impression of thick-rimmed black glasses and a gray cardigan.

As quickly as the light had gathered, it dissolved, leaving a limp figure lying in its stead.

* * *

 

_Patton didn’t understand. He had thought he had found a new friend, but instead the boy had been mean to him, scared him, and even pushed him onto the ground! He had tried to be nice, but now he was angry._

_He could see slightly better, but not enough to look at his surroundings, so he pushed himself to glow as brightly as he could to see around him. The yellow-eyed boy flinched back as the light increased, and Patton spun around to see himself in a dark empty room. Wishing to leave the other angry boy alone, Patton tried to sink out._ _But instead of going back home, a small white light could be seen down a long corridor._

_Both boys looked at each other before running toward the light as fast as they could. The yellow-eyed boy attempted to shove Patton back, but Patton jumped forward at the last second, his hand just touching the light first. It reached around, surrounding him, and pulled him forward into the void as he fell._

* * *

 

Patton’s eyes snapped open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks, everyone! Hope those who read it enjoy it.
> 
> About a month of weekly updates, then I will have time to write a lot more. Maybe develop characters and proofread too. ;)
> 
> Thanks again!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> More will be coming soon, I can't wait to see how this actually turns out.
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos or comments.


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